lieberhaeschen's Xanga

all im sayin'

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 05:39:09 GMT

house, holmes

a HOUSE is a HOME

Learn the TRUTH about Hussein Obama

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 03:13:52 GMT

Hussein Obama never bagged the grass when he cut the yard.
Hussein Obama takes advice from chipmunks
Hussein Obama leaves the toilet seat UP.
Hussein Obama never rewound tapes before he returned them.
Hussein Obama has overdue library books in NINE STATES.
Hussein Obama ripped the tag off his mattress
Hussein Obama once parked his car next to TERRORIST Patty Hearst's BMW.
Hussein Obama noticed the "dry clean only!" sign on his suit and washed it anyway
Hussein Obama wrote "The penis mightier than the sword," on his 7th grade history essay.
Hussein Obama squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube
Hussein Obama reads magazines at the magazine stands despite the sign saying not to read them without paying.
Hussein Obama mixes paper with plastic when recycling.
Hussein Obama takes two free cheese samples at the grocery store, despite the sign asking "one per customer, please"
Hussein Obama drives 46 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour zone.
Hussein Obama never tips more than 8%.
Hussein Obama drew handlebar mustaches on pictures of Jesus in Sunday school
Hussein Obama leaves his dirty underwear on the floor.
Hussein Obama posts on 4chan
Hussein Obama yiffs Michelle wearing a lion fursuit.
Hussein Obama and Michelle started in the furry Orangina commercials.
Hussein Obama will sometimes drink milk straight from the carton
Hussein Obama likes to run for president, even though the sign says to walk!
Hussein Obama occasionally listens to Public Enemy or some of N.W.A.'s early recordings
Hussein Obama dirty-dicked the jar of mayo in your fridge.
Hussein Obama had sex with a married black woman.
Hussein Obama is the father of two black children

shamelessly stolen from something awful.

Today

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 05:17:57 GMT

today is the best day. i hope to have more best days.

also, if you are ever in quicksand, lay on your back and put your feet up. i read about it on the internet.

;fjhd;kljisahdnfjkl;snhdkns;dklfnmSAIJDKAJSNXDM;ANCK;AJSNCDKJ;SAD;NA;KSJN;KASKNK

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:57:20 GMT

NEVER ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever work as a tour guide for uic campus housing.

butthole ghost.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:07:37 GMT

the ghost of maxx hardcore lives in my butthole. dont look him up. just believe its the worst ghost to ever to live in your butthole.

yesterday was a strange day

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 15:20:19 GMT

Yesterday was fucking weird.
first, i was on the bus. I was standing next to some lady who looked like she was in her early 50s with another lady who looked like she was her daughter or something. The older lady leaned over to the younger lady and said "Sharon, tell me if I crap my pants" or something like that. Then, shortly afterwards, it started to smell like she did, in fact, crap her pants. I think the lady shit herself.
Then, I was getting off the red line by Matt's and trying to make my way to the stairs. This 17ish ghetto kid was totally blocking my way. I said "excuse me" and kind of walked around him and then he turn around and SWUNG AT ME while yelling "BITCH, IMMA KNOCK YOU RIGHT OFF THIS PLATFORM!" Luckily, he didnt succeed, and i didn't die.
then later, i found a mysterious thing that looks like a vibrator on someone's front lawn. i'm not sure what it is, but it looks just like a vibrator

and that was my weird day.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:57:09 GMT

OMGWTF
springtime?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:05:04 GMT

andrew bird buys a lot of fashion magazines, such as W.
lulz

way too loud!

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:35:45 GMT

I have never had a noise complaint made about me in my entire college career until this semester. I am now up to four. One for having the tv too loud after 10 (It was kind of loud. We were watching a movie with really quiet dialoge, left, and in that time the movie ended and it went back to normal, loud as hell tv.) One made this friday for listening to loud music after 11. We turned it down, shut the door, and like three seconds later I get noise complaint number 3. ITS STILL TOO LOUD!!!!!!! then one last night, for sleeping with the tv on WAY TOO LOUD. I think my RA has some serious problem with me, because the last two noise complaints were totally unwarranted. I know we have quiet hours at night, but i am pretty sure that means that students are asked to be quite so that other students can sleep/study, not turn off all electronics so people with their ears pressed against the door can't hear anything.
now this morning there is a sign on my door saying that since it is finals week, its 24 hour quiet hours. It says "Noise complaints can result in early move out" basically, i think it means theyre going to kick me out if i don't comply. I dont think I am a loud person, though. I'm kind of scared to turn on the tv or listen to music at all because i dont know what counts as disruptively loud to my RA. Obviously its far less than what i would consider.
Also, I am only one degree away from andrew bird.

that was bittersweet

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:55:48 GMT

I made friends with two guys in my english class who like all the same stuff as me, david lynch, crispin glover, rocky horror, etc, etc. and now, its the last day of the semester. we exchanged email addresses and phone numbers, and one of them gave me a toblerone for chrismas. I dont think i will ever see them again. makes me sad. I hate how friendships can happen and disappear so quick because you aren't forced to see each other on a regular basis.